The Horse Totem, Healing, and a Little Girl

When an artist is in the process of painting, they never truly know how important that piece is going to become in their life. When I am navigating through my process, the focus is on sharing my journey, my growth, my inspirations, and accessing my intuition.

This week the focus behind my paintings was "overcoming". I was immersed in a creative frenzy, painting almost non-stop for three days. Each night my husband urged me to go to bed at a decent hour, but the palette kept my attention until 3am each morning. 

One of the paintings from this run was of a horse totem, named "Run Fast, Run Hard". There was movement in the strokes and a portrayal of speed, as the painting is motivating you to move fast and work hard toward your dreams. 

Run Fast, Run Hard a Contemporary Folk Art Painting by Jeanne Fry

Occasionally over those three days I would post a few photos of what I had been painting on our Facebook art page. As soon as I would share the photos I would go back to painting. My cell phone alerted me of a private message through Facebook, with an inquiry of interest about the painting. 

As soon as I started reading the message from my phone, I was engaged in a story, and knew that I needed to sign into the computer and give it more focus.

A mother in California was interested in purchasing the painting for her 9 year old daughter. As she shared with me the reason that she wanted it, my heart moved to another place....a place in my own past.

Her daughter Ashley has a rare disease that she is battling, Pediatric Sarcoidosis. A lump in my throat started forming as I felt the link with my own Lupus, as both attack random organs in the body. She told me how strong Ashley is and how she loves to paint. She has been loving horses as of late, and since her mom can't give her an actual horse, she wanted to give her my painting.

She included a link to the fundraising site they have set up for Ashley to help cover her medical bills so that I could learn a little more about her. When I opened the link, the tears started falling. When I looked into her eyes, I saw my own when I was little. My mind raced back to when I myself was so young, when at the age of 4 I was in the hospital and became an amputee.

During my hospital stay I had been given a gift by a stranger. The man had stopped me in the hall and had given me a painting of Faith, Hope, & Charity. I never saw the man again, but I still have that painting to this day.

I knew that this painting had to be a gift to Ashley, of that there was no question. The gift that I had received had changed my life, teaching me that love and compassion exist in unexpected places. My hope is that Ashley will feel that too, and always be surrounded by love and support.

This trip back in time, flood of emotions, and decision making all happened in just a few minutes. I soon looked up with the tears welled in my eyes and showed my husband Ashley's link. As soon as he saw it, he said "She looks just like you when you were little", and he himself was fighting back the tears. 

I'm sharing her link here, in the case that you might want to donate to her cause, and should you choose to you are not only helping her and her mom, but my own inner child spirit as well.

http://www.gofundme.com/ashwoodfund

I am grateful for this moment in my life as an artist, as it has been one of the most meaningful exchanges I have ever experienced.

In Love and Light,

Jeanne


 

The Personal Story behind "My Spirit Dances"

In my dreams there is a magical land

a land where there are no walls

a land where there are no obstacles to overcome

a land that is only filled with promise.

My Spirit Dances, an original painting by Jeanne Fry

The Saboteur does not live here

Whispers of negativity do not exist

No bystanders are present planting seeds of doubt

Even my shadow twin is oblivious to the location.

In my dreams there is a magical land

where Lupus has no name or credibility

Where prosthetics are a foreign term

for here....

I am Whole

I Breathe Easy

I feel the grass under Both Feet

and I radiate the Light of the Universe.

In my dreams there is a magical land

and here My Spirit Dances.

(c) Copyright Jeanne Fry

Painting and Poetry by Jeanne Fry   All Rights Reserved

Prints of this painting are available in my Fine Art America Studio here
My Spirit Dances painting on Fine Art America



Answers.. Art... and the Garden

Knowledge is Power.

We tell ourselves so often when we are stumbling for an answer to Why.."if I only knew the root of the problem..things would be better". I could fix it. I could change it. We can tell ourselves that so often, that we begin to believe that once we have the knowledge of "what it is", things will immediately be different. But nobody told us that is not entirely all there is to it.

Yes, things will be different, but once you have the knowledge..it is up to YOU how it will change. The knowledge is the stepping stone.

For four years I had been searching for an answer. Why am I in so much pain? Why don't I feel well? What is wrong with me? Doctor after doctor, test after test, and endless days of discouragement led me to endless searching for the answer, as if the answer would be the solution. All the while not knowing that once I had the answer....it was only a step. And that step is your choice in how you will make it change. In which direction, what path will you take, toward your solution?

These past few months as I had felt even worse, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. My inspiration to create Art became more and more difficult, my pain dictating my every move, and fatigue controlling my days. Then Tuesday morning an unexpected phone call came, and in ONE minute the stepping stone appeared in front of me. "You have Lupus". Stunned I hung up the phone and became quiet. I needed to process this, and realized things weren't immediately better now that I had an answer. The stepping stone was in front of me, but I was not ready to take a step. I gave myself permission to sit with it, think, and BE.

 I needed to eliminate the noise that surrounds us in the world, no TV, no phone calls, no drama....just to get to that simple state of breath. So, I spent that day and all the next outside, the one place that can make you feel better just by it's existence. The one place so easy to find perspective and balance.

I decided to listen to Me.

I felt compelled to to have my hands in the Earth, the simplicity called to me...work in the garden. Flowers needed to be planted. I needed to surround myself with color, reds and blues and purples. I needed to feel the soil in my hands.

The afternoon was spent planting. Loosening the soil and digging the holes was immediately hurting me, the pain was aggressive...but I needed to do it. My husband saw the difficulty and began doing the strenuous parts for me so that I was left with the simple pleasures of placing the flowers and plants in the earth and filling them in. Finished, we spent the rest of the day on the porch..quiet, peaceful and meditative.

The next day we spent our day driving in the mountains and then again back sitting near the garden, until I then found a sense of peace with where I was at...a sense of peace that there was a stepping stone in front of me. I had come to the state of Now. The past did not exist and the future did not exist..only the present. And I took a step forward on to the stepping stone. I made the choice to fully immerse in my healing, to listen to my intuition and my body and act accordingly and move forward. I have no expectations that it will be easy, but will strive for the best quality of life, to be easy with myself and put my needs to the forefront. I will continue with my Art on a relaxed level, because it is like breath to me, it is part of my essence.

 Breathe in. Breathe Out. Follow the Stepping Stones.